Thank God football season is starting...

I was really starting to get antsy about it. Like "nervous tic" antsy. Like "5 free agent transactions per day on each of my fantasy teams' waiver wires" antsy... the season hasn't started yet and I've been tinkering with my teams non-stop.


The onset of Fall is upon us. Fantasy drafts are completed. My brother has commenced texting and tweeting fighting words about "Super Bowl MVP" Eli Manning and the Mexican heritage of new Jets QB Mark Sanchez... ahhhhh yeah, that's the stuff.


Football has become the only sport that I can watch without changing a channel (this year's forced move to Time Warner Cable has robbed me of the privllege to flip channels and watch every game live. More on this later.) regardless of what teams are playing. The only thing that shockingly comes close would be a high-stakes or World Cup soccer match. Scary, huh?

These days if anyone were to try to convince me to watch a complete 9 inning, non-playoff baseball game that didn't involve the Yankees, hell even one WITH the Yankees, they'd likely fail. Aside from the fact that the Yanks are incapable of playing a game that lasts less than 4 hours, baseball can be downright snooze-inducing. Same goes for a non-Rangers hockey game. Usually I have something better to do than watch anything but the 3rd period of any Rangers game, underachieving notwithstanding. 


I wondered if I was just getting older and more curmudgeon-esque. Maybe I was just bored with the cyclical nature of sports and how they're not really important to the grand scheme of things, or how memorizing stats and sports occurences while forgetting things like family and friends' birthdays might be a bit much... but no. That wasn't it. I mean, it was somewhat. But that's not why I could never love a sport other than pro football enough to make it through a Rockies-Dodgers game, or Devils-Penguins game. 


Its why I just can't make it through a boxing match without yelling about what a waste of time and/or money it is compared to an MMA event... It's just boring. The pacing of most other sporting events makes me want to gouge out my eyes, or worse, change the channel repeatedly.



Nothing affects me quite like NFL football does. To me, it's a scientific mix of catch, monkey-in-the-middle and rugby- wholly American in its principles. It is the result of a melting pot of competition, cultures and ideas that supplies huge doses of instant gratification every second of every tick of the play clock.



It's big dudes violently hitting and shoving each other for millions of dollars and bragging rights for a city and fanbase.



Its enough to make a grown man compare players and make substitutions based on no new projections, or 10 month old statistics. Its enough to force a grown man to his couch for hours on end revamping his 'Madden' roster to Super Bowl perfection via free agency, draft and trade. the other night I celebrated locking up my "27 and under" core of players in my Jets Franchise as if I had just watched them beat the Patriots... Point is, football gets to me.


There's no great lag between plays, or rests between quarters. Halftime is a solid 20-30 minutes chock full of highlights and idiotic predictions made by stuffed network shirts and talking heads. The fourth quarter of any game that isn't an utter blowout is exciting, with either team having a chance of winning or showing us something special in the waning moments. Even the best conceived gameplans can go awry within 45 seconds. 

Each member of a football team is part of something bigger, no different than other sports, but alas still on their very own island. One failure, one moment of lost focus, one blown assignment or one missed opportunity can spell disaster for your team, on every play. Sometimes the difference between a win and loss is one second or one inch. The chance for a miracle or catastrophe is present on every down. there is no batting average or OBP in football- you either make a play or you get beat. there is no acceptable level of failure for any one man.


The human elements of football are fascinating because the subjects are so varied in their ways, pedigrees, personal backgrounds... it's why I can't ever have enough looks behind the NFL curtain such as "Hard Knocks" on HBO provides. Sure, many folks don't care what Tank Johnson is like at home or how he puts together his tiny daughters' bunk bed. But I do, for 2 reasons- 1) he put it together himself and didn't hire anyone to do it for them, and 2) seeing the line separating a man paid millions to hit people and the father of 2 little girls become more vivid is gratifying.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a channel to change.